Before you start rolling your eyes at the title of this post, please note that this isn't going to be one of the 400 million posts you've seen advocating that you "think before you post." Granted, that's an important lesson to be learned from social media, but one I'd hope you would have picked up already (please, tell me you have?). Rather than drone on about how you should setup Facebook privacy settings, think before you tweet something or create a Facebook profile photo that doesn't put you in a comprimising position, I'd rather take a second to talk about a different side of personality responsibility -- reliability and the mentor/mentee relationship.
One of the inevitable byproducts of the social media growth we are seeing is that there are a lot of new people entering the space every day. Please, for the sake of my sanity, spare us the soliloquy on whether people are qualified to do the job they are currently in. There are a lot of people who aren't, but there are plenty who are. The people who aren't will eventually be shaken out of the tree. Anyway, with the growing number of people coming into the space comes the creation of more mentor-mentee relationships. Those relationships are definitely a good thing. I know I still look for advice from folks I used to work with at Dix & Eaton. An independent perspective can always be helpful for us as we grow in our careers.
Over the last several weeks I've noticed just how much social media has changed the mentor-mentee relationship. Think about it for a minute... I ask you to be my mentor. I follow you on Twitter. I then "friend" you on Facebook. We're connected in multiple places, right? We have an opportunity to chat in more ways than any other mentor-mentee has ever done in the past. We're "friends!" Is that a good thing? Ah, so here is where we get to the crux of this post.
Any professional relationship has a line. Where? I don't know, truthfully. It probably depends on the relationship in question. However, if we examine the pure mentor-mentee relationship I'd say it's a pretty solid line between personal and professional. Yes, we care about what's happening in your personal life. It makes it easier to counsel you on professional matters. However, if we're offering up our personal time to counsel you on professional matters you better make the most of it. Don't reschedule multiple times. Don't completely blow it off and then send a note a day or more later with an excuse. Don't get me wrong, I know things come up. However, when these things happen multiple times you make it incredibly hard for anyone to want to help in any way. Harsh? Maybe. But that's the real world.
I can only postulate (nice SAT word for a Monday) that the amount of social touchpoints we have is creating this false sense of "friendship." Ok, false may have been overly harsh. We want to be your friend, but that friendship does have limits. If you're seeking counsel on professional items, the relationship needs to stay professional. If you want advice on personal matters, then sure, it will turn into more of a friendship. The line is certainly more gray than I am portraying here, but I think you get the point... Clearly delineate the line before you get started in any kind of mentor/mentee relationship.
For the record, if it feels like I'm taking a shot at the younger generation it certainly isn't intentional. There are plenty of people much older who violate this all of the time.
So here are just a few pieces of advice if you're seeking professional guidance from someone:
- Respect their time - If you want to meet with them, make sure it completely works for your schedule. Yes, things do come up but do try to minimze scheduling changes as much as possible.
- Ask thoughtful questions - Chances are good that the person you are seeking advice from is very busy. A certain amount of small talk is certainly warranted, however do come prepared with what you want to talk about. Don't leave it up to the other person to do all of the talking.
- Don't "shop" the advice - By shop I mean if someone has given you a piece of advice don't go blabbing it around to any of your other mentors. You should feel free to say something like, "the other advice I've received suggests." Avoid things like, "Chuck told me that." Makes it uncomfortable for everyone.
- Think how you're interacting on Facebook and Twitter - This should be pretty self-explanatory (I hope), but know the personal and professional line and do not cross it.
